The Killing Squad
by Sanjuso
Summary: First to die:Relena Peacecraft/Darlain. By Kimi ^_^
1. Vote!

The Killing Squad  
  
This is going to be a fic where we (we being myself as well as my band of highly-skilled and well-armed anime hunters) round up hated anime characters who really shouldn't exist and subject them to unimaginably painful and agonizing deaths. Unfortunately, in order to do so I need to know who my potential readers hate. Sooooo, VOTE NOW!!! And if no one makes any suggestions, I'll probably end up selecting a character at random. You don't want that, now do you? ^_^ 


	2. Killing Relena

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. I bet you don't own them either. I'd laugh at your lack of ownership, but that would be just plain pathetic. So I won't. I might do it when you're not looking, though.  
  
Warnings: Some swearing plus a very gory character death. Have fun! ^_^  
  
The Killing Squad By Kimi  
  
Episode One: Killing Relena (by suggestion of Adesso e Fortuna)  
  
Mission Log: Day One  
  
I've received my first mission: kill Relena Darlain. Shouldn't be too hard, except for the one requirement: assassination must not be suspected. Fortunately, I have a plan.  
  
End Log  
  
I stepped out of the portal and looked around at my surroundings; it seemed, to all appearances, to be the site of some natural disaster. Turning slowly, I surveyed the damage and felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards into a smirk. Smoking suits ravaged beyond recognition were stacked one atop another in huge smoldering piles, and only the scorched ruble remained if what I could only surmise had once been Oz facilities. Without a doubt, this was exactly where I wanted to be.  
  
I was startled to hear a click issue from behind me. Damn, should have expected it. By drawing on my vast amounts of experience, I manage to come up with the best possible plan of action: with a resigned sigh, I swung my hands into the air in the well-known gesture of surrender and spun around to face the one I was looking for.  
  
"Look, miss, I don't know who you are, but I really think you shouldn't be here. Bad for your health, ya know?" he exclaimed, waving a pistol in my face. "Now, why don't you scooch on back to wherever you came from, and forget all about this whole thing?"  
  
"Nice to meet you, too."  
  
"I have a gun. Shouldn't you, ya know, run?"  
  
"I noticed, and I would appreciate it if you stopped pointing it at me. Besides, the safety's on."  
  
He pointedly reached down and flicked the small switch on the side of his gun. "Now it's not. Will you fucking leave already?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Why the hell not?!"  
  
"I have a proposition for you, Duo Maxwell."  
  
He gave me a funny, calculating look just then. Not something you see very often, much less from someone like him. I just shrugged, pretending like I thought he wasn't interested, and started to stroll away with my hands in my pockets.  
  
"Wait!" he called after me, predictably.  
  
"Hmmmm?" I drawled, inviting him to ask his question.  
  
"Since you seem to know quite a bit about me already...will this get in the way of my current, um, project?"  
  
"If you're asking with or not my request will jeopardize your current priorities, I think it will simply rid you of an annoying and unpredictable factor."  
  
"You want me to go kill somebody, don't you, babe?"  
  
"Actually, I want you to not shoot someone...while he kills the one I'm after. And if you ever call me babe again, I will have to kill you."  
  
Mission Log: Day Two  
  
The negotiations with pilot 02, Duo Maxwell, went better than expected. All I have to do is keep up my end of the bargain (delivering a crate of Pocky, which seems to be exceedingly hard to obtain in the AC period, to a safehouse in some obscure country called Belgustan*), and he'll happily ignore any and all killings performed by an Asian boy in spandex shorts and a green tank top. All I have to do now is document the death for posterity (and rabid fans).  
  
End Log  
  
I once again stepped out of the portal, but this time to see an entirely different scene. Though I was safely inside a building, I could still see pilot 01, Heero Yuy, holding a gun to my target's head several yards away. Duo was standing some distance behind him, but wasn't interfering. As I watched, a shot rang out and Relena fell limply to the ground. The first shot was followed by a second, then a third and forth...I think Heero was enjoying himself a little bit too much.  
  
From there, the scene played out nearly the same as it had with Relena alive. (Duo even ended up shooting Heero anyway when the Japanese pilot aimed his gun at him.) When the scene was over, however, I still had to obtain evidence of Relena's death.  
  
I strolled over to her body as casually as I could manage, and snapped a few photos. It was quite an interesting site, really: in the middle of her forehead, which was now covered in a damp sheen of blood, was one of the bullet holes. Heero had exceptional aim. The second bullet had gone through her throat and into her spinal chord, another near instantaneous death. The third seemed to be lodged in her heart, and the fourth had entered in that area around the intestines where, had she not been killed by any of the other three bullets, she would have died from an extremely slow and agonizing death.  
  
As I walked away from the body, its hair glinting like gold in the sun and blood beginning to crust and dry to brown, I pondered how this action would shift events in this umiverse...  
  
All in all, events after the incident weren't effected much. Makes sense, since Relena didn't do anything terribly helpful during the entire series, just ran around being psychotic and trying to persuade Heero to kill her.  
  
End Episode One  
  
* If you've seen Gasaraki, you might recognize the reference to that random country that got attacked...or something. I dunno, I just think it's an awesome name for an obscure country. After all, no one gives a damn about a country that ends in 'stan,' right? Well...unless they live in it, I guess...^_^;  
  
Please forgive any inaccuracies, as it has been quite some time since I last saw the beginning of Gundam Wing. And please leave reviews and suggestions. Suggestions are good. ^_^ 


End file.
